I’m excited today to bring you an excerpt from author Becky Baudouin’s latest book called Enjoy Every Minute and Other Ridiculous Things We Say to Moms. Becky and I connected on Instagram, and I’m so happy to have found another author friend!
While her book is focused on motherhood, this excerpt is applicable to anyone who is going through a difficult time. I hope and pray that this guest post brings you encouragement today!
“As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs. . . .”
―Psalm 84:6
Grown-ups are big into time travel. My friend, Denise, has four adult sons and she says if she could go back to the days when her boys were little, to the days of trick-or-treating and Santa Claus, she would do it in a heartbeat. My sister, Kari, is a baby person, and if she could travel back in time you would find her cuddling her babies in her rocking chair. She misses those days. I do not. I mean, I loved my babies, but I also love to sleep. If I could turn back time, I would go back to when my daughters were three or four years old. At this age, their personalities were really beginning to shine, and I absolutely loved their curiosity, the questions they asked, the adorable things they said, and how they seemed to hang on every word I said. (I know, I may not be remembering all of this exactly right, but that is part of the fun of reminiscing.) My youngest daughter, Brenna, used to say “pail nolish,” and I immediately intercepted any attempt made by other people to correct her. I wanted her to say it that way forever, or at least until she could figure it out herself.
If we had magic remote controls, most of us would rewind and go back to some of these moments. We would hit “pause” from time to time, freezing the frame on certain moments that are so very special we don’t want them to end. And if we are honest, there are times we would use our magic remote to fast-forward, skip over, and speed through moments and seasons that are difficult and wrought with pain.
Each of us will inevitably pass through what the Psalmist calls the “Valley of Baka” (weeping). It may be a medical or financial crisis, a period of marital distress, a betrayal, trauma, or loss. It may be a season of parenting that is especially difficult, a relational conflict, or a battle with depression or anxiety. It may be a season of loneliness or doubt—whatever it is, we wish more than anything we could just get past it as quickly as possible.
And yet the psalmist writes that “as they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools” (Psalm 84:5). Clearly, we do not relish this part of the pilgrimage. We do not enjoy our moments in the valleys. Most of us resist the process—this painful part of the journey between where we are now and where we want to be, between who we are now and who we will become. We would like to rush through it, but the valley terrain is difficult to traverse. It requires us to go slow. Yet it is in these moments, maybe more than any other, where we experience God’s nearness. He never leaves us alone. He walks with us in our pain. He speaks things to us in the valley that we cannot hear anywhere else. His comfort and peace transform our valleys of weeping into places of springs.
I passed through one of my darkest valleys several years ago when I found out my mom had terminal cancer. Before I ever became a mother, I was a daughter. I was her daughter. And the thought of losing my mom was unbearable. There is a desperation that comes when you realize there is nothing you or any other human on the planet can do to change your situation. And though you know God can change it, and you believe he has the power to intervene and alter the outcome, the reality is that sometimes he does not. Sometimes he chooses to walk you through the Valley of Weeping, hold you in the darkness, and show you that he is everything you will ever need.
I wanted to fast-forward through the pain and the sorrow. I did not want to watch my mom suffer. I did not want to watch her die. I told my closest friends, “If I could skip over all of it I would. I’d go straight to the funeral. And then I would probably want to skip the funeral too, because the whole wretched ordeal seems intolerable.”
And yet, as I leaned into the hard moments and made my way through the rocky, uneven places, one foot in front of the other, my valley became a place of springs. Time with my mom was a gift. Friends came alongside, supported me, cared for me, and walked with me. God’s presence brought healing and comfort. He filled me with unexpected joy and an abundance of peace. His love enveloped and held me together, and in him, I found everything I needed.
It’s a good thing we do not have a magic remote control. Because often it can be so hard for us to see the value, the beauty, and the opportunities for growth in the less-than-perfect moments. If it were up to us, we might choose only those moments that are shiny and pretty at first glance, ordering up exactly what seems good to us, and then replaying them over and over again. We might be tempted to skip over those moments that loom dark in the distance and threaten to bring pain, struggle, anxiety, or sadness into our lives. But God is in all of it: the good and the bad, the joy and the sorrow, the beauty and the pain. He is good. He brings joy. He creates beauty.
If we want to live authentic lives in the real world, with our real families and our real problems, enjoying every minute is not an attainable goal. Let’s instead resolve to be present, not longing for the past or anxiously thinking about the days to come. Let’s enjoy and savor and soak up every second of the beautiful moments because they are a gift, and let’s persevere and grow through the hard ones. Let’s put our trust in the Giver of moments who walks with us, loves us with an everlasting love, and is able to transform our valleys into places of springs.
“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
(Isaiah 43:19)
Reprinted with permission from Enjoy Every Minute and Other Ridiculous Things We Say to Moms by Becky Baudouin, 2020
| “Enjoy every minute because the time goes so fast!” Every mother of young children has been offered this advice. Yet for moms in the thick of it, this advice is neither realistic nor attainable. A tired, overwhelmed mom can easily internalize these well-intentioned words into guilt-laced, negative self-talk. What is wrong with me? Why aren’t I enjoying my kids more? Why do I feel so overwhelmed when other moms seem so normal? I should be more patient and joyful. I’m a Christian—I shouldn’t be struggling so much. We will not enjoy every minute of this journey, but we can find joy in each season. With humor and candor, Becky takes on this cliché along with other common myths such as, “God will never give you more than you can handle,” and “The most important thing is that your kids be happy.” Through compelling stories and biblical insights, she encourages moms to rely on God’s strength in the hard moments, adjust their expectations to accommodate the ups and downs of life, walk with others along the way, and develop and maintain an eternal perspective. “No disclaimers needed; this book is solidly sound. Beautifully written, full of wisdom, easy to read. Bravo Becky!” —Letitia Suk, author of 100 Need to Know Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens |
Becky Baudouin is the author of two books: Enjoy Every Minute and Other Ridiculous Things We Say to Moms, and Cancer, Faith, and Unexpected Joy. She is also a speaker and former columnist for Chicago’s Daily Herald. Becky loves to weave together personal stories with transformative truths to encourage and equip others who are walking through the ups and downs of everyday life.
Wife to Bernie, and mom to three daughters, the Baudouins have called Chicago home for more than twenty years. Becky is a friendly introvert, a self-described homebody, and if you’re looking for her, she’s probably in the kitchen.
Connect with Becky!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Becky.Baudouin.Author.Speaker/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beckybaudouin/
website: beckybaudouin.com
Link to order book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08F9YCFTN/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=becky+baudouin&qid=1597094597&sr=8-1